it is well, it is well with my soul

when peace like a river, attendeth my way

when sorrows like sea billows roll;

whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,

it is well, it is well, with my soul.

i was reading something earlier this morning and the words of this song came to mind. and i had to stop and ask myself... "is this so with me?" when hardships come, when i'm faced with trials, when things don't turn out how i expected, when i get another false pregnancy test, when things at the church don't go the way i think they should, when a family member dies.... is it really 'well with my soul?' and if i'm honest i have to say lots of times... no. on the outside i may seem ok with it but on the inside i'm wrestling with hurt, anger, disappointment. all of these things that come so naturally but i know aren't from God. i have to remind myself daily and plead with God to help me remember that He is ALL i need!!! our happiness is not found in earthly things, relationships or in my case even being a mommy. our happiness and contentment can only be found in Him.

"beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ's sufferings that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy. if you are reproached for the name of Christ, blessed are you, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you. on their part He is blasphemed, but on your part He is glorified." 1 ptr 4:12-14